Ok, so i picked my wife up yesterday and brought her to the house for her visit with the kids. She was very thankful for the new phone and for me driving her. She then asked me if she could bring our dog home with her for a few days. I told her i would have to think about it and discuss it with her mom as we all got the dog together.
Well her mom flipped out, as far as she is concerned the dog is family and she doesnt want any of her family near OM. So i told my wife, i am fine with it but she had to convince her mom.
I got sucked into that conversation. The mother and daughter combo is not a good one to play mediator at, trust me.
Needless to say, as i was sitting there trying to help them talk about everything, i realized, Im still trying to fix my wifes life. when ever she has a problem, i just fix it. No questions asked. she had phone issues, i got her a new one. she has forgotten about her kids, i remind her. i give her rides. i make sure they see her.
I guess that after 20 years of doing it, i dont even notice that i am doing it. Well last night while sitting between a mother and a daughter, i realized it. To be honest it brought tears to my eyes at that very moment.
I looked at my wife and told her, i cant fix her issues anymore. I cant always make things right or ok any more. If she wants her family including her dog, she has to do it, i cant. I cant make it so she has my support and my attention and my solutions when she disrespects me this way. I told her there will be no more rides, there will be no more visits at my house and there will be no more favours. She needs to fix her life and solver her own problems.
I looked at my mother in law and said "mom here is your daughter, if you want a relationship with her, make it happen". i then looked at my wife and repeated the words, left the room and slammed the door. I was very emotional at that moment
I drove my wife home and to be honest i just cranked the tunes and she didnt say a word.
