I hear how bad you are hurting and I’m sorry that you’re going through this.
I’m new to DB’ing, but not new to pain or life’s obstacles. All I can tell you is my own experience.
I have been cheated on by every man I have ever loved. Hurts just saying it. This is the first time I have stayed.
The only way to heal from something like this is straight through it.
You can’t go around it.
You can’t go under it.
You can’t go over it.
Straight through it is the only way. Let yourself hurt and feel it. If you get angry talk about it here. Write the email...get it all out...then delete it.
For me, I had to grieve the fact that my M was no longer pure and just between the two of us. Even though my h had a one time slip (God, I hope) it still hurt really bad.
As far as forgiveness goes...IMO, forgiveness, whether your M works out or not, is for you. Forgiveness really does set you free. I heard something the other day and I can’t remember where, but it was that forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could be anything other than what it was. Made sense, to me.
I’m going to tell you a little story. My daughter was almost 3 when we discovered that she had been molested by my MIL. She was about 4 when the following conversation took place. I was drying her hair.
D: Momma, does Jesus live in GM and GP’s heart?
Me: Well, honey, that’s something that only Jesus knows for certain, but sometimes you can tell things by how people act. It’s hard to say, baby girl.
D: Momma, could Jesus give them each a piece of my heart so that they can find God for themselves. I know that GM hurt me bad, but that’s ok because I have you and I have Jesus.
Today, that same little girl is 16. She insisted that we have her grandmother here for Christmas so that she didn’t have to be alone, in a nursing home for the holidays.
