Sparks, DETACH NOW. Seriously, you need to stop snooping right now. I think what you found was very good news. Not much is going to happen in a 1 or 5 minute phone call. So let it go. I wouldn't mention it to your W.
It sounds to me like your W is doing the best she can do at the moment. Please remember that she is going through mourning right now and is probably not thinking clearly. And keep in mind that most of these WAS's lie. I don't think they lie necessarily to help themselves. Sometimes I think they do it to help us too. I don't think they want to inflict more hurt. I probably wouldn't have always thought that, but there are some WAS's on this site and it's incredibly insightful. They are good people. Some of them admit that they were good people, who made mistakes. We all do.
So... you need to stop obsessing, stop snooping and start detaching. Let's talk about how you can do these things. How can you pull this off??? MWD's books are about being solution focused. So let's start brainstorming some solutions to this issue...
