This Storm Shall Pass

[dolphin_05]

Oh, I forgot to say H just sent me a text about D. It started.... sorry to disturb you but ......... I thought it seemed quite formal and distant. I wonder if he's decided that's what I want now?

[Sanderika]

Hi Cas & GAG & Rabbit,

I haven't posted much on here about me. I can't really figure things out on my own, I'm working on it. I think if I knew what to do and what was going on I would be able to chat, probably makes no sense to anyone reading this (then again it might make perfect sense, LOL).

I have had no contact with my lawyer, she has sent me three letters inquiring about my intent and I can't seem to make up my mind what I want. I want her to leave me alone to think. I am still trying to fire her. She does not want to stop representing me. She feels really bad how she treated me. I'll figure it out.

H and I have had three discussions about dismissing our case. I am afraid to. I know all too well what happened the last time. I don't want a divorce but at the same time I don't trust that things will be any different.

Cas, your D is such a smart girl I love how she thinks!!!

I have been reading along on your interactions with H. It's the same old same old that I experience here. It's exactly what I expect and don't trust. I don't see that they are capable of making a choice to commit back to us and their family.

1) H gets close (of his own choice, "we aren't holding a gun to their heads", and acts like he can't live WITHOUT us).

2) We get close (based solely on the actions by H, "cause we are doing great on our own otherwise", we let our guard down...D*mn-It!!!).

3) H runs (gets scared...goes dark on us, "it's too hot around here", cause in reality they can't come back and live WITH us).

4) We go dark (sick of the BS, which is where we should stay...forever!!!). So...What's wrong here!?

5) H comes back around, for the umpteenth- billionth time (wonders...Why we are distant? and What have we been up to? and What are we doing, right now? Really this is what happens, pathetic....huh!!!).

6) H acts all "lost puppy" like we are "the ones". They start more contact, start coming to house, hangs around, AGAIN!!! (OMG!!!)

7) Go back to Number 1, re-read the list.

Cas, our H's are a textbook act, they have read the lessons and learned them well....I am very sarcastic right now about my situation, I am sorry if I poured it out on you. You have your own sarcasm I am sure.

I wish that I could figure this all out.

I assume you are still holding the "papers". H has not reached out for them. Am I right?

His text today is Number 5, get ready for Number 6....I feel a "lost puppy" moment in his future. You should hold fast at Number 4.

You didn't tell us if or how you responded (I assume you stayed dark on H). I think you are back in the drivers seat.

Cas, you can take the car anywhere you want

I wish I was in the warm weather right now able to get out and sit at a cafe by the ocean and smell the sea breeze (just for the afternoon).

I am near the ocean alright (within 11 miles of the Atlantic we Mainers call it "The Big Ice Cube") but the water is 50 degrees F. It's about 8 degrees F outdoors and we have lots of snow....It's great!!! It's Southern Maine and this is a typical Winter for us.... Actually, I live in a four seasons region and I wouldn't trade a single one of them, there's always something to look forward to.

Hope you finish up on the 999 remaining tasks in your home, my list is somewhere around there too!!

Have a great week, Cas.

Sanderika

[Lost Rabbit]

Hi all!

Well after the snow over here in the Uk we have strange weather, its seems crisp with frost for a few days then almost like mar/apr spring weather which normally would be good but its causing havoc with our fields and of course all the lovely chocolate thick mud is embedding itself in miss furry fiends fur and shes not too keen on my rule of you put it on I take it off lol! Was so lovely we today we put jumps up unheard of in January.. still very jealous of your sunshine Cas I dont want a lot but a little to lift the gloomy sky would be lovely!

Take care all
x

[Sanderika]

Hi Cas,

I hope you and your family and your home are safe and sound after Cyclone Yasi made landfall at Queensland yesterday and today.

You all are in my thoughts and prayers.....

Please take good care,

Sanderika

[goodattitudegirl]

Cas,

I have been thinking about you and your D. I pray that you both have been safe during the cyclone. Of course we are concerned because even though we know you are in Queensland, we don't know your precise location.

When you are able, please check in to let us know you are safe.

GAG

[goodattitudegirl]

Sanderika,

I want to thank you very much for your feedback on my thread today. Your comments were VERY insightful. You and Missher really help me put things into perspective as the thoughts roll around in my head after XH and I spend our evenings together. I hope to post a response on my thread tomorrow evening.

Also, I hope that you are finding direction and peace in your situation. When you are ready to post an update we will all be interested.

Best,

GAG

[dolphin_05]

I can't really figure things out on my own, I'm working on it. I think if I knew what to do and what was going on I would be able to chat, probably makes no sense to anyone reading this (then again it might make perfect sense, LOL).

Take your time. This has been a l-o-n-g process. A little bit longer won't hurt.

I have had no contact with my lawyer, she has sent me three letters inquiring about my intent and I can't seem to make up my mind what I want. I want her to leave me alone to think. I am still trying to fire her. She does not want to stop representing me. She feels really bad how she treated me. I'll figure it out.

Tell her to give you space or tell her to buzz off. Either way, you have control; you're paying the bill.

Cas, your D is such a smart girl I love how she thinks!!!

Yes! She seems to have it figured out.

I have been reading along on your interactions with H. It's the same old same old that I experience here. It's exactly what I expect and don't trust. I don't see that they are capable of making a choice to commit back to us and their family .

Sad but true.

I assume you are still holding the "papers". H has not reached out for them. Am I right?

Yes, you're right! All the rubbish pushing me and then no action. Same old, same old.

You didn't tell us if or how you responded (I assume you stayed dark on H). I think you are back in the drivers seat.

I answered the minimum and was polite but I did not initiate further conversation.

I have to say I have managed with n/c extremely well until this week. I miss our interactions. I don't know why I felt it this week.

Cas

[dolphin_05]

GAG and Sanderika. Thank you for your thoughts but we are fine. The cyclone is in the north and we are in SE Qld. Just to give you an idea of the size of QLD; It's a 2 hour flight from here to the cyclone area.

[beatrice]

I think most of us in the Northern hemisphere, although we KNOW Australia is huge, unless we have been there, in our headspace it is the size of Texas or Wales. {just to be culturally evenhanded]

Glad you are safe. now a cyclone hitting our spouses and turning them upside down might not be so bad. . . . .

[seeking answers]

Cas,

I'm so happy to hear you're out of harm's way.

It seems as though the storms and natural disasters have gotten more intense around the world in the last few years.