When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[MichelleLT]

Gabe left because he believed he would be better off without you. While things that you had said and done, or not said and done, contributed to that, it doesn't change the fact that HE DECIDED to bail on his family. You didn't make him do it, and it's HIS FAULT. And all the crap that happened afterwards also resulted from his decisions. It's not about placing blame or trying to figure out who started it, it's circular and can't really be separated out easily.

Nearly dying from heartbreak and pain taught me to be very tentative in my relationships with all other people, not just Gabe.

I feel you. I do. I fight with this too. BUT I think the most important lesson here is...you didn't die! You picked yourself up, you made ends meet, you worked on yourself and made a new life for yourself. You made it without him.

And he couldn't make it without you. LOL

Oh, a follow-up thought to your earlier post about Gabe taking the night off. Make sure and thank him for it, communicate how much you appreciate it to him in a way he'll really get. And after bowling and whatever, put Marc to bed and make the rest of the night just for the two of you.