A Lovestruck Romeo Singing the Streets in Serenade

[FellOnBlackDays]

Denver,
I don't know just yet what to say about the emotional state you are in because I am wrestling with the same thing. After I was so friendly about her move and helping her with it, I struggled when I was alone with my feelings. Did I do the right thing? Was my actions seen by her as me being a "new" man? Or, did she look at me and say to herself, "Well, he took that well. He must be either getting better emotionally or is also truly over us. Either way, I guess it is OK for me to move on now." This is a tough one. Let me get back to you on this one.

As for the Super Bowl invite, I think you may have pushed a bit. JMO. I had the same interaction with my W. When we were on the phone yesterday, she came out and asked me what I was going to do. I told her I was inviting people over to the house for a party and then just left it at that. There was a long pause and then she informed me she would be driving home during the game and was not interested. I simply stated, "Well, be safe" and left it at that. I GAL'ed to her and didn't pressure. I will be here with family and friends enjoying BBQ and she will be sitting in her car all alone for 6 hours. Her loss and that will hit her at some point during the drive. Every Super Bowl, her and I would throw parties at our house. This year, she won't be there and that will hit her. I know it will because of a comment she made after I wished her well. She came back with, "I was never really that interested in the games anyway. I was really quite bored but always enjoyed the food." She is full of sh*t and she knows it. There have been years such as the Giants/Patriots, Steelers/Seahawks, and Steelers/Cardinals where the games were close and down to the wire. And she was right there on the sofa next to me living on every play.

I think she is still very, very screwed up in the head. There was no need to say that she was bored other than to try to erase the video of all the good times we had in the past that was playing in her head as we spoke. She continues to be a typical WAS. "The past sucked, we were never that happy, blah blah blah." I am really starting to feel sorry for her and your W. They are so lost and they just don't realize it.

I have to get some work done, but I will get back with you later tonight. Hang in there!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

[Denver_2010]

I know that the SB invite was pushing it a bit. But, in my defense, what I haven't talked about here on the board is the session that I had with my DB Coach on Wednesday. The short version of the advice I got from her, was this:

Continue doing what has been working. BUT, use my instincts. She told me that it was okay to "test the waters" by doing little things like me inviting her to the movies the other night. She just warned me that if I sensed that any of these things pushes her away, to back off and then give it a couple of weeks.

Last night, she asked me what I was doing for the SB. I said that I didn't have any real plans. She then told me that her SIL and BIL had invited her to go with them to BIL's cousin's house, but that she didn't want to do that. Sooo... I saw an opening to "test the waters" a bit.

We'll see. If she declines, I will know that I am pushing it too hard. If she accepts, then I plan on DBing my a*s off on Sunday!

What I do know is that hug that I shared with my W last night has buoyed my spirits today!

I couldn't sleep last night bc I was fruitlessly trying to interpret my interaction with W. But my DB batteries are still charged today.

BITS
Denver

[zengypsy]

Stay the course Denver. See today is a better day already!

[Denver_2010]

Thanks Gypsy. New thread:


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2126855#Post2126855

I will try to respond to everyone there later on tonight.

Again, I want to thank all of you for your support, advice and candor. I don't know what I would do without all of you.

BITS
Denver

[grr]

denver, you are absolutely right

continue what is working, but do use your instincts

for example, because of my husbands abandonment issues, i know that at this point going dark with him would just reinforce his self preservation instincts and he would go into shut down mode

i have to modify the 180 a bit because of who he is
at least at this point

hope your day is ok

[zengypsy]

Thanks Gypsy. New thread:


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2126855#Post2126855

I will try to respond to everyone there later on tonight.

Again, I want to thank all of you for your support, advice and candor. I don't know what I would do without all of you.

BITS
Denver

Back at ya Denver!