Hi Rae, forgive me but I have not read through your whole thread.
I wanted to write because I had a live in for almost 2 years with an OW in another state.
I was a slow learner and while he was there, at first I walked on eggshells and I tried to be a good girl.
Then eventually, after some tough love, I got it.
I began to just go about my life. I went out with friends. I changed my hair and clothes. I even went back to college. I would be polite and cordial. Treated him like a nice neighbor.
At first, it was acting as if. Then, it became real. I wish I could say that it was easy, but it wasnt. It was very hard. Try as I might, there were days where I would get a little crazy.
I eventually could not have him there and asked him to leave.
I continued on my journey.
So, the emphasis has to be on you and your children. Of the things your h has said about you in the marriage, figure out which are valid and if you want to, begin to change those things about yourself.
Then think about the kind of person you want to be. What characteristics and values do you see in others that you want to emulate. Be that person each day.
This is a long road, one with many ups and downs, curves and loops. But if you decide to take this journey, man it could be quite a ride.
