That is awesome that you got to spend some alone time with the baby!!!
You have to stop... you HAVE TO stop asking about the OW. I know where you are coming from and I know that you need reassurance, but you can't get it from her right now. And the more you ask, appear vulnerable, insecure, etc., the more you will push her straight out the door. Period. You have to stop. It's time for you to be tough. You can come here and let us know all of your feelings about insecurity and distrust, but you cannot do that in front of her. This is your safe zone. She is not at the moment. You need to play this smart.
Also, do not show her your book. OK? Don't. Your wife has help for herself. Showing her that book is going to do nothing more than make her feel guilty and that is not an emotion you want to evoke under any circumstance. I, myself, try my best to avoid people who evoke negative feelings in me at all costs.
With that said, your ace in the hole is your support of your wife. A lot of people would have reacted differently and you didn't. So, you are starting way ahead of most. Give yourself the best possible chance you can because you deserve it.
