It's forgiveness, and it's really, really hard. We struggled with it well after the Retrouvaille weekend. It comes up in the Post sessions. So you are ahead of yourself, by expecting to have it done already!
My consolation with the abandonment by my husband was that I would find a new love and have that high all over again. I remember thinking about it over the weekend. And the thought stayed with me during the Post sessions. In the last post session we did a dialogue about how we felt about reconciling. And I finally told him what had been going through my mind. That reconciling was bittersweet, because though I was happy to be saving the marriage and the family, I was sad to let go of the dream of having new love again. And he was nice about it. And we talked about it. And I let it go.
In the end, I was glad I did. Old love has the ability to deepen in a way that new love doesn't. I am happy with my life now, and we are both proud of our achievement. We don't know many couples who have been married for 31 years like we have.
