WAS/MLC'ers IMHO are sort-of one in the same. They suffer from narcassitic behavior and that includes blaming the LBS - YOU. My H 1 year later STILL blames me for everything. In the beginning I let him blame me; I took the brunt for it all. I was riddled with so much guilt for ruining such a good thing. I got myself into therapy, read a ton of books, joined this forum and realized that I'm accountable for my part and I own that but my H has some ownership as well. But he hasn't grappled with that yet and I know he will. And so, my point being, our S are stuck. Outwardly they appear happy and together when truthfully they aren't. It's a facade. They are like tires spinning in the mud. They have no direction and they keep making bad choices.
They will realize that the grass isn't greener. It's tough when you have children. I don't have any and in some way I feel fortunate for that because I know how I felt when my parents split up and I was 23 at the time.
MLC'ers are in an experimental phase and that may include a new relationship or 2. It can be a mortality issue that makes them snap - who knows. Only they know and it's a jaded truth. How long can it last? That's a good question. There is no definitive answer. You can leave the door down the hall open, it's up to how open you want that door. MLC'ers are really good at keeping you on the rollercoaster. Your in for a long journey and patience will become your enemy and best friend at the same time.
You BOTH have to make some changes in order for this M to work. If she isn't willing at this juncture, then you have to start to detach lovingly and not worry about what she isn't doing or is doing. I know it's hard and to factor that you live in a small town as well. You can only focus on you right now. You will present yourself in a different, better way. You have to for YOU and the possibility for saving your M.
MLC'ers also can suffer from depression as well. A depressed person never knows that they are truly depressed thus a medical diagnosis (which it sounds like she got) is warranted. If she is bi-polar that perhaps explains the attempted suicide. It's a very common element from what I understand that goes with the disorder.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
