Divorce or Hope?

[ninelives]

Thanks Zen:

I appreciate the advice and I am trying all those things. I just wonder if everything is too broken to fix. I would be willing to forgive but it would be a herculian effort to never bring it up and since we live in such a small town, I might even bump into him,( with a Jeep i hope).

He makes so little money and will have to pay child support and alimony. He is also a part time DJ at our local bar so i cant go there anymore. My wife has changed an reverted to teenage like behaviour, she is 43, but how long can this last?

Like i said, she is already telling people how unhappy she is and tries to get happy by drinking and quick little fixes. She suffers from depression and told me she was diagnosed with bipolar tendancies but then said she wasnt and that i should never repeat that. Almost a comedy sketch.

Im really pissed about what she did but hate to see the woman I love go down a path of destruction with a low life. My kids factor in to this as well. My youngest loves everyone and I cant stand the thought of them doing things together. My oldest doesnt even want to meet him.

She blames me for the bad relationship with her son since I lost my temper and called her every name in the book the night I found out and could not lower my voice. My oldest son heard everything and then saw her try and committ suicide but she blames me for not lowering my voice. I told her I went out of my mind when I found out. There was not Physical abuse but I could not stop calling her a slut. I went out of my body.