Till death do us part... or she leaves...

[FellOnBlackDays]

Denver, sorry to hear you are struggling this week. I am sure the weather is not helping. I am home today because of ice. I am sure our conditions pale in comparison to yours, but we southerners don't really know how to handle this as well as you guys. If you need some help, reach out. I will be on and off the forum all day. Keep your head up, buddy!

Lost, not much interaction with W right now. She was supposed to go west yesterday to see her sister. The problem is that she would be heading right into an ice storm. I was already in the location of the storm and was trying to get home by going east. I had some issues with ice on my vehicle and the roads. I knew she was going to be driving into "the teeth of the hydra," so I began to worry. But, I had a problem to confront. When we were together, she hated when I tried to tell her what to do. Now that she is out on her own, I find times where she acts like an *ss just to go against my advice. But, I do still love her and was worried about her safety. So, I broke down and called her.

Of course, she didn't answer so I left a message. She called back 30 minutes later. I wanted to tell her to stay home. I wanted to tell her I was too worried about her to let her drive into this mess. But, I can't do that now. So, I just told her that the roads were a bit dicey, gave her some examples of what I had been through and let it go at that. Strangely, at one point, she asked me, "What should I do? I really want to go, but I don't want to get stuck on the road." I think she is either starting to miss me or was testing me. I am not sure. Anyway, I said, "(name), my experience on the roads out here this morning was not good, but you will have to make your own decision as to what you are willing to risk. You may want to give your plans some serious thoughts" and I left it at that. I then ended the call.

I don't know what she decided as I am going dark for a couple of days. I don't know if she got there OK or if she just stayed home. It is killing me. But, I have to let this go. She is 36 and can make her own decisions... and will have to live with the results. If she is stranded on a road somewhere right now, it is not my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I do, however, wish her the best of luck and I hope she got there safe if she ventured out.

Unfortunately, I had three different dreams about her last night. In every one of them, we were reunited. I don't really remember the details of the first two, but I do remember the last one. In the third one, we were on a camping trip with a bunch of other couples. The other couples were friends of mine and knew she left me. At one point, they got mad and turned on her during the trip. They made her pack her stuff and go sleep in an abandoned shack away from the campsite because they were pissed about her leaving me. When they turned on her, I didn't defend her. I let her leave the campsite. But, during the night, I sneaked away and found her in the shack. We talked about our problems and then it got a bit racy. We made incredible love in the shack and I woke up right after the dream. I am a bit down today, but I am doing OK. Stuck in the house because of weather. I miss her touch so much. In 15 years, I never, NEVER got tired of making love to her. It has been 7 months since we made love. I would do anything to touch her right now. But, I will press on and think of BEV today instead!!!

Hang in there team! BITS never walk alone!

FOBD