A Lovestruck Romeo Singing the Streets in Serenade

[Truegritter]

Under either scenario I am doing the right thing by helping my W. And under either scenario, the emotional pain that she is causing me at this moment is the same.

When you give it without the expectation of return you will not have the pain.

You also will decide when you are doing it to "appear" nice to your W or if it is something you would do for a freind in need.

The latter coming not expecting anything.

Also this can be a slippery slope if you give her "everything" out of love you are not being fair to her or to you.

If you fix things repeatedly for her she will begin to resent you and you her.

KWIM?

So always ask yourself WHY you do something.

In any case, the more contact that I have with my W, the worse that I feel. I am so attached right now

Why do you think your attached and why can't you detach more?

You may not realize this but your W has tremendous amount of guilt for what is happening.

Guess what the number one trigger of that is for her?

Yup. YOU.

Think of her as a turkey that you just put into the oven.

You keep opening the door and poking her to see if she's done.

When you see she hasn't begun to cook or not done to a point you think she should be...

It hurts.

Denver I know this because I did it.

Think of how far you have come in your own growth.

Now think how much help you had with people here...reading...experiencing...questioning and learning.

Your W does not have that. It will take time. HER time.

And it will happen on her pace NOT yours.

You have made so much progress...this next part

Is tough.

I know I got so pissed at the person trying to tell me. I was walking along my path, happy detached little Truegritter until I would interact with my W and feel like sh!t.

she asks me what I am doing for the super bowl on Sunday

She opens the door...

I told her that I didn't have any real plans and said to her "you guys should come over and watch it with me... we can make some queso."

You shove it open.

Her reaction left you feeling...?

You know what to do Denver.

Do better. You can. And you will.