Till death do us part... or she leaves...

[FellOnBlackDays]

BITS,
FOBD is back on the air. Couldn't get to a computer while on my biz trip. None the less, some really amazing happened today and I want to write about it.

This morning at 9am, I met with one of my clients that I have been doing business with for two years. She is a really nice lady around 57 years old and we will call her Bev. I entered Bev's office, made some small talk and complimented her as I always do on the photos of her family. It all went south from there. For what reason, I still don't know, she looked me straight in the face and told me her life was not too great. She then proceeds to tell me that her husband and partner of 36 years walked out on her one month ago. They have been together for 39 years, married 36 and have five children from ages 27 to 14. I was floored.

She just sat there crying and telling me how devastated she is. I sat there listening to her opening salvo of horrible information and was just beside myself with grief for her. He told her he was moving to their hunting camp in the northern part of the state for a spell. Soon after he left, he pretty much cut off all contact. She, of course, pursued big time. Finally, after weeks of no contact, she packed up her car and headed up to the camp to confront him. When she arrived, he wasn't there but there was a strange truck in the yard. She went inside and started to notice that there were things there that belonged to a woman. While she was inside, he came back and had his new girlfriend with him. She confronted him and things went from bad to worse. I felt so bad for her as she sat there talking to me and choking back her tears.

She went on for an hour. I missed two other appointments because of this, but something inside of me wouldn't let me leave her. The client has no idea that my own marriage is in the toilet. So after about 20 minutes of listening to her, I asked her if it would be OK for me to say a couple of things and if it would be OK for me to get a bit personal. She approved. Team, I jumped into ACTION!!

I took a piece of paper from my pocket and wrote down the information to get a copy of DR. Then, I spent the next 30 minutes teaching her about GAL'ing, 180'ing, detaching and whatever else I could think of. As she talked, I couldn't help but look at her and see myself four months ago.

I went on and on about the DR and how it saved me from this horrible situation. We talked and talked about what she needs to do going forward, about getting a A, getting a C, protecting her children and protecting herself.

There are many more details, but this will get too long. The point is this, when the hour was up, I had her smiling. I then gave her my personal email address and told her she could email me anytime she wanted to ask questions. She smiled and said, "Well, shouldn't you clear this with your wife? Ha Ha." I replied, "Bev, do you know how I know all this stuff about DR'ing?" She replied, "No." I looked her straight in the eyes and with no hesitation, no tears, and no emotion, I stated, "Because my wife left me five months ago and I you and I are now members of a club no one ever wants to join." She was floored. She told me she had no idea. I just said, "I know..."

As I got up to leave, I made a motion as though I wanted a hug. She jumped up from her chair and hugged me really hard. As a professional rule, I never make physical contact with my clients. I am a man, many of them are women, I don't want to be sued. Anyway, she hugged me and had tears coming down her face. I put my hands on her shoulders and told her, "Bev, you are a wonderful woman and a wonderful mother. You are going to make it. You are going to be all right. You have my word on it. Take it from someone who has already been down this road." I smiled and turned to walk out. When I turned back, she was standing there crying. I waved and walked out.

An hour later, I got an email from her telling me that my actions today were well "above and beyond the call of duty" as her sales rep and that my actions would never be forgotten. I made her promise me that when I called her on Monday she would have already finished the DR. She promised she would.

I noticed as I was walking out of the building, I was in a great mood. I was puzzled. Why? Couldn't figure it out, so I just got in my car. I had a two hour drive home. It was cold and raining and the traffic wasn't the greatest, but I was still smiling. Why? And then, it hit me.

I AM GETTING BETTER!!! You see, for five months I have hidden my S because of my shame and grief. I have not told any of my clients about this until today. But today, I sat there, told this nice lady everything and smiled about it after. I AM ABLE TO MOVE ON!!! I can't explain the feeling. I just helped a person get through their day, didn't lie anymore about my own sitch and walked away happy. I now get to go to bed knowing that by Monday another victim of this madness won't be a victim any more. She will be armed and ready to face her WAS. She will be stronger, happier, healthier and closer to a resolution to her horrible situation (Michelle, you are welcome. I just sold another copy of your book...)

BITS, I can't tell you how happy I have been all day. I even had a brief phone conversation with my W and I cut her off. I did't want this feeling to end. Today, I got the first real sign that I am going to make it. Life will go on. I am far enough along now that I can look back and help others. I sat in front of her and realized how far I have come. In her last email, she stated, "I hope that I am as strong as you are now in my very near future." I was on Cloud 9!!!

I know this all seems like bragging, but it isn't. This is a positive message for all my BITS. Take a moment each day to look for some sign that you are getting better. Look for signs that you are moving on. Look for signs that the world is not collapsing around you. You just might find what you are looking for...

Team, tonight when you hit the pillow, please keep Bev in your thoughts. She has been with this man for as long as I have been on this earth. Jeez, I thought my sitch was bad. She has 24 years and five kids on me. I think I have a whole new perspective on life tonight.

Bev, wherever you are tonight, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

FOBD