Here we go AGAIN....

[wanda15]

Well I am sorta feeling better. At least I am able to function again.

So here is an update. H and I had quite a talk on Sunday. He has told me that I am the love of his life and that he wants his wife and family back. We talked for about 2 hours about all sorts of things in our marriage and what we need to do to fix this. I told him that at this point I really do not have any answers. That if he wants this he is going to have to figure out what needs to be done. That is one of my 180’s...I usually have lots of answers for him....not this time. That night the IL’s showed up here with a snow shovel for me. It was priceless to see the look on his face.
So that night he bought dinner and helped make it. We watched a movie and he spent the night here. Next day we spent some time together. No R talk. He went out for a bit and came back later. We had dinner together and he spent the night again. He had a shower and went into his dresser to find all of my stuff had been moved there and all his stuff was packed in bags. H started bugging me about giving him his drawers back and I said NO. Not until I know this is real. He left it at that.

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling awful. H stuck around for a bit but said he had to go back to where he was staying b/c they didn’t know what was going on yet. He spent the night there. He did text me a few times asking if I was okay and if I needed anything. I did tell him no and I would talk to him later. So he showed up here yesterday afternoon. Went out and got some groceries and dinner for everyone. We watched a movie and went to bed. For awhile it was ok, but then something just kept nagging at me. I didn’t know what it was. This morning we get up and got kids off to school and had a bit of a R talk. H went and had a shower and that’s when I did it. I SNOOPED! I went looking through his cell. So at first glance everything seemed ok. But then I realized that the only texted he had on his phone were from me for the last 4 days. I thought that was weird. So I checked the call history....and there it was....calls to the X.

Now she is an ex from long before we even knew each other. She got married, had two kids, got divorced and moved back here. She dated H’s best friend for almost a year. And after they broke up H started talking to her. He had secret coffee dates with her. FB chats with her ect.... I have let him know I am not okay with this at all and it needed to stop. Every time something is wrong between us he runs to her. Sometimes it is just stupid stuff and other times I am not sure...EA????? So I went and really did it. I FB’d her today. This is what I said:

Ok so here we go again. For some reason (H) seems to have this need to contact you. This needs to stop. I can not have him telling me that I am his everything and he loves me so much ect,,,and then be phoning you. I want you to sever all contact with him. Unless he is divorced from me I do not want any contact between you two. No work, no photo albums, no phone calls and no facebook. I am tired of this secret that is causing an issue in our marriage. Either I come first or it will not work. I am sorry that I have to be this blunt, but he does not seem to get that this is an issue. I don't wish you any ill will, I just need you to stay away. Thank-you.


Sooooo, not sure how well all of this is going to go over. And yah I know I should not have snooped and I know I am backsliding AGAIN....I just do not want to go through this all over again. So go ahead, give me crap...I’m just gonna blame it on the flu...LOL!