hi zen "eh" might be a proper way to describe! my husband just called to check on my mom he was very sweet and is a bit bored in his hotel room across the country i had a received a message today for his dad from an insurance company and told him that i could take care of it, but i thought he might rather he told me that i should call his dad, as he would love to hear from me again, of course i read that the way i want off to work now, where i kinda feel like me how are you doing?
grr - I hope that you don't mind me saying this, but I think that you are being way too accommodating to your H right now. Don't forget, he is planning on leaving you. Don't let him continue to have the advantage of having a W while at the same time, plan his escape. I'm saying this, bc I also get the sense that there is still love for you within him. At least the way that you describe these conversations. But you are letting his pleasantness towards you to allow him to stay in control. You have to let go a little.. or actually, a lot. I would tell you to stop talking to him so much. Let him miss you. If he wants to check on your mom, he can call her. If you're getting stuff for his dad, call his dad. Get my drift. He needs to MISS YOU! Right now, he still has a W waiting at home for him...
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
denver, your input is always very welcome and appreciated and i do get what you are saying..........i am making this very easy for him it's hard tho' because he has been abandoned so many times in his life and he only has a few close friends (he alienates people very easily - he is a disconnected person) i feel like i want to be the one who is always there but i know you are right let him see how it will be with the one he depends on the most gone so thank you funny, i just got an email from him, that must have been delayed a day as he was so far away but he was just hoping we were ok, because of the ice storm that was coming (already came and went_) i read nothing into it this time, save for the fact that he cares for the people he loves i am also feeling ok with that i hope you are having a great day are you? (or at least an ok day?)
More on what we were talking about... go read MichelleLR's last post on 2Step's thread about leaving them wanting more. I think that it is very good advice for us all to follow.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I agree with Denver. I've been doing that a lot lately. Either we think alike or he is wise or maybe I am wise but he types faster. LOL.
It's ok to be friendly but don't help the process along. You mention he has been abandoned so many times in his life. I feel for him but there are struggles he needs to face on his own. There is a big difference between accepting his decision and helping him make it.
Doing "eh" is better than crappy. I just want you to feel better about YOU!
I can't argue with the boys. I'm sure you feel that if you pull back a little more you are afraid he will take it as rejection and that will solidify his decision to leave even more. But WE who are getting more healthy and strong by the day, know that's not true.
Play a little hard to get; don't be so readily avail after all, YOU come first especially now.
Peace and Hugs to my fellow Bidet!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
zen, i do feel like he will feel rejected but then again, how much rejection should i have to take before i start taking care of me after all, i think i rock! i know i do i know we all do hope you are well and warm nyc is freezing!
