well a new thread hasn't started yet so I am going to post here!!!
Ian...I love you and I think your advice was spot on however YR knows it is all about choices
we all deserve better than what we get at sometimes in a relationship there has to be an understanding of an ebb and flow
I am not saying that walking over boundaries is ok and the difference here is that YR made boundaries whereas before maybe they weren't really there
I think we all lost sight of some boundaries and we all put up with things we would have never imagined ourselves putting up with then we come out of it and we say NEVER AGAIN and we make all these boundaries that are super close around us and we tell ourselves we deserve so much better than we got (which we do) but in order to be in a healthy relationship, we have to loosen some of those boundaries
those boundaries that we threw up to protect all the open wounds
those should be healed... not saying there aren't scars but they shouldn't be raw anymore
so we loosen those boundaries and we allow some to be nudged a bit and our boundaries become healthier
we shouldn't be in crisis boundary mode (make sense)
so...the boundaries YR now has are not crisis, fresh, raw meat ones....they are ones that are personal
does she deserve better
hells ya do we always get what we deserve 100% of the time...nope (if we did, I would be a millionaire, lounging by my beach house with birds chirping in the background...just like lots of us here)
so he is an ass now but YR has to decide if his assholicness is bad enough to chuck it in or if it dealable
the panic isn't there because that crisis already passed...that big one we thought we would never survive...YR knows she can survive
