A Lovestruck Romeo Singing the Streets in Serenade

[Denver_2010]

I have really been working on what love means to me. Do I have the ability to have and show unconditional love to my W?

Isn't it unconditional love that we vow to have for our S when we marry them? We promise to love them in good times and in bad times, for better and for worse? Isn't that a promise of unconditional love?

Unconditional love means withOUT conditions, right?

Wouldn't requiring a spouse love us back before we choose to continue to love them be a condition?

Don't know if this is making sense. Just journaling. Would love to get other's perspective on this.

I posted the following on Pickle's thread but wanted the words that I wrote there to be on my thread as well to remind me. So cutting and pasting:

The way that I look at it [unconditional love] is this. We love our children even though they sometimes throw fits, don't listen to us, make poor choices, get into trouble, and sometimes disappoint us bc they don't do what WE want them to do. We love them unconditionally.

The question is, do we love our spouses in the same way?

Do we love them only when they choose to love us back?

Do we love them only when they choose actions that we agree with or that also make US happy?

I struggle with this too. And if my W and I don't reconcile and she moves on with her life, there will be anger and resentment on my part. But those are personal and selfish emotions. Nothing wrong with having them, but let's call them what they are. They will pass eventually. And eventually, I will be able to recognize the love that I still have for my W. It won't be an 'in love' type of love if that makes sense. But I will still love her and wish her all the happiness in the world.

This is a true giving of love... I know that it is how I wish to be loved, so why not choose to give that kind of love?

BITS
Denver