Full, H did that....brought his extended family into everything. I didn't. He lied to them about why he left etc. etc. So I really think that he needs to MAN UP and take care of his immediate family like he use to and not worry about any of them. But I don't see it happening. He comes from a divorced family and the whole time I knew him he had to have at least his father or his mother in his life if he couldn't have both. Maybe God willing but I doubt it.
Thanks so much everyone for the advice. Heartsblessing it actually feels like an honor that you answered my thread.
I can't thank all of you enough. I did some terrible DBusting last night. I just couldn't take being treated like I was anymore. I was trying to be the nice guy all of the time because I didn't want H to think he didn't have anyone to turn to that would understand if he needed anyone to talk to or whatever. His family doesn't believe in depression and so on.
Anyway I sent H a text and I probably pushed him far far away, but with us having to put the house up for sale and him complaining to everyone about the child support he has to pay I have had enough. The kids are a mess about having to leave the home and I just lost it for the first time in a very long time. I know I probably ruined my M for good and yes I regret it, but at the same time, being nice wasn't getting me anywhere at all except him controlling me like HB said. I regret it because I wanted to save my M but at the same time I was fed up with H deciding when, where, what, and how things were going to work out for us and then he would pull the plug anyway. I didn't want to be mean because God knows it is not right. And it is totally against rejoice marriage ministries.
But here goes:
Just want to tell you I'm sorry but the door is no longer open for you. You have hurt me and the kids enough. This is the second home I had to give up for you. Your sister claims they are all in the places they want to be in their lives. Well H, I'm sure they are. They all have homes and are with their spouses and children. And our kids don't have a father where they come first and I don't have a husband that I come first in my life.
I forgave you for everything and made an a** out of myself for you and this is the thanks I get. U will have a home again because you will end up with your father's house and me and these kids will have nothing because of you ruining my credit and everything else I ever had. I get a kick out of how you don't have the b**** to do what you want and all that we worked so hard for. I'm not after your money. I made more than you did for years when the plant closed their doors. And you are telling your family that all I care about is money????
If you were a man you would tell the truth to everyone. I hope you enjoy watching everyone with their families and you know longer have one. You said you are a family man, well H, you don't pick anyone your extended family over your wife and kids. I didn't make you choose but you can't own up to your mistakes like I did. Maybe someday I can forgive you totally but it will be a long time. You left us and I'm the one saying I'm sorry for everything, well I just can't do it anymore. You should have thought about what you told your extended family and friends. You lied so much to me and these kids that it actually makes me sick. But like I said, they all have their immediate family and you gave yours up cause you would rather have no responsibilities or any responsibility for the wrong thing you have done to me and the kids. I just can't fathom how you live with yourself. I hope someday you will take responsibility for everything you have done to us. I gave you 2 chances before and you would think you would at least check on us but nope not you. All you care about is yourself and I don't want someone like that in my life. Hope you are in the place that you want to be in your life with no immediate family to come home to.
Wow it took me this long to realize your mess is not my fault. I feel great. Wasted over 2 years but not another second hope all of you had a great laugh at me making an a** out of myself with your extended family. But that's okay, because at least I can say I did the right thing and God knows it. Can all of you say that??? I will pray for all of you. Some people never change and its a shame. I don't want anything bad to happen to you but your were right and it's over. You did too much damage to me and these kids. I never told my family or friends the details but you had to look like and still do, like the victim. We need someone that loves us and where we come first. Sorry and take care. Just wish I wasn't fooled thinking you would ever care enough about us to be a family again. Goodbye H.
I can't thank all of the people that supported me here for almost the last 2 years. Maybe because of me going down with H pushed me into sending this long and mean text but I just got so tired of watching the kids hurt and cry and I got fed up with my own crying and depression (have been a mess since it happened with depression and anxiety) and trying to figure out how we are ever going to move. And where we are going to end up.
