Thanks friends for all the kind words and encouragement. They mean a lot and you all definitely had me in tears.
This is the path that he has chosen and there isn't anything that I can do about that, I understand. He told me that he is not ready to file but inferred that was the likely path. He said that he realizes that he cut off every path to try to make things better. Then he also said that I was cutting off paths. For example, he said that he asked 3 times for me to hang out with him. I said that wasn't true and I was asked once. He didn't deny that. (I think he lies to himself more than he lies to me).
I told him that I deserved a lot more compassion and sensitivity. I explained that there was no one in his life that he has turned his back on the way he did to me. I told him that everything out of his mouth were lies. He took exception to this last part but after I started laying out examples, he got quiet. I think he realized that was true. I know none of this should have been said, but I needed to say it because the treatment has been bad. It's one thing to leave your spouse, it's another to treat them poorly in doing so. None of this was said in anger. There were no raised voices or anything.
This morning, my sweet cat got sick. So we had to rush him to the vet. I started crying because I just can't lose my cat right now. He is my baby. My H tried to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I slammed my hand down and screamed that nothing was ok. Again, shouldn't have done it, but I'm pretty much at the edge.
I'm very afraid of what will happen to me finacially. But there isn't much I can do about that either. We have two houses, one under water up North, and another we just purchased which will be hard to sell.
Mostly, I'm just feeling devastated and helpless to fix my M.
