Lost, hurt and scared ...

[MeMyselfandI]

Good day again yesterday, similar to the day before with the addition of some practice in a sport that I'm competitive in for a National qualifier that I have coming up in a couple of weeks.

Some irony yesterday, I have now had my kids for almost two weeks, (usually we swap week by week but have had to make adjustments due to my travel schedule the past while - I'll be gone again next week for the week). Anyway, I was noticing how much more peaceful the kids are this second week in comparison to the usual with the weekly swap. They generally show up at my place, exhausted, cranky and out of sorts so to speak and last week was considerably worse after the airport incident). But this second week, they have been themselves, less fighting and bickering and just generally more peaceful. Yesterday morning, I asked them what they thought about the 2 week swap versus the one week. My S said he loved it, he was more settled, etc. My D said she didn't, it was just too long.

The ironic part is that I got a text, clear out of the blue from H yesterday afternoon - he never texts unless it's something urgent that needs to be dealt with right away.

H: Sorry, I was being a smart a$$ and didn't totally catch what time us said you wanted me to pick up kids Sunday? And, FYI, I don't like 2 weeks.

I know he hadn't talked to the kids 'cause they were in school all day so I found it funny that he was obviously thinking about the two week thing too. I also know that this wasn't an urgent matter and have a funny feeling the no contact may be taking a bit of a toll ... so I waited for three hours to repond, (for all he knows, I could have been in meetings all day). I texted back.

M: 11 am or so if that's ok. I can understand your feelings on the 2 weeks.

H: Yep that's fine with me. Just mentioned that cause I think I'd like to avoid it as much as possible for future.

I didn't respond to his last message because I didn't think a response was necessary. Really, we do avoid it as much as possible; however, sometimes my work travel schedule is not conducive to the weekly swap and I believe doing two weeks is less disruptive for the kids rather than two days here, three days there, etc.

Looking forward to another good day, no contact and feeling more detached every day ... the more I GAL, the better I feel. Thank you to everyone who drives this into our thick skulls with a four inch nail!