I don't know how to fly the Space Shuttle

[sandi2]

If you will notice, my response was to Pickle, who had asked me those questions.

[InAPickle]

So, I believe we have to decide what keeps us from leaving....not them.

Thanks for the response Sandi.

I considered staying together for the sake of the kids in the hopes that the A would fizzle - but I just can't do that.

I'll do what I legally can to keep the home and make her leave, risking that the kids will blame me for that. Even if they prefer to spend most of their nights with W, they will still have their familiar bedrooms waiting, and I will have accomplished two goals: 1. kept my self respect and 2. dashed W's lunatic fantasy.

Believe it or not, if you look at the A like a drug addiction, the tough love says I respect the person I married too. I am not trying to punish her.

I'll take it back to my thread now: Need Insight V

[Firstlove]

Sandi2

My apologies, I am new to this forum stuff and did not see that your response was to InAPickle, now I see that at the top of the post so my comment to you was inappropriate, sorry

Actually though, now that I think about it - this is a lesson for me. One of the things that I have to work on is not making assumptions, thinking that I am right on an issue, and then just either firing off some comment or taking an action on something because of an assumption I have made as to what is the truth. I have done that far too often in the past and it has resulted in some discomforting circumstances for sure. I need to learn from this - rather than just making a statement based upon what I "assume to be correct" - if I am questioning something or am in doubt, that is an opportunity to ask for more clarification or ask more questions before I form an opinion or make a statement.

This reminds me of a quote I heard in church yesterday.

"Experience is what you get from doing things. Wisdom is what you get from doing things badly"

Time for some wisdom here - good way to start the week.

Mr. Firstlove

[sandi2]

No problem! You should have seen how green I was when I first came.

[Firstlove]

Green for sure - DB, its like the "Greening of America" so to speak, we all seek wisdom in relationships for sure.

Mr. Firstlove

[sandi2]

How are you doing?

[Firstlove]

Things continue to be a challenge for sure. But I remain hopeful and faithful, trying to be my W's very best friend and supporter irrespective of what actions she takes to undermine and destroy our marriage. She is working hard thru the actions and decisions that she is taking to destroy our marriage. I am doing my best to take the actions to save it and build it anew into something that neither of us has ever experienced in 33 years - and that is - the abundance of friendship.

We shall see what God has in store for the both of us. I choose faith and hope, she chooses failure and despair. My prayer is that God and I win the day and have my W realize how much both of us truly love her.

Mr. Firstlove

[goodattitudegirl]

Mr. FL,

I came to find your thread after reading your question on christianhusband's thread. Please don't take this the wrong way,........... but I found myself laughing when I read your first post. I think your self-deprecating humor can only help to soften your W. My DB coach told me that laughter promotes the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, so this approach can draw our WAS's to us.

I'm glad to hear that you've found a good DB coach astronaut consultant (something like that.........). I hope that things move forward in your situation. Slow and steady wins the race.

GAG

[lostinscared]

Firstlove,

What's going on? How are you doing????

I'm praying for you.

LIS

[zengypsy]

FL....

I just wanted to check in.

I really like these quotes...

"Experience is what you get from doing things. Wisdom is what you get from doing things badly"

AND....

"I choose faith and hope, she chooses failure and despair."

I may have to use those on my FB page!