Is the tide turning???????

[MHL]

GAG,
Sorry I was MIA last week, was reading along but no time to post. It seems things are going good and BTW, no 2X4's for the interactions with XH's BMF....it all seemed good to me.

I guess I did not realize that BMF was also single....I would think that one of the reasons BMF is less than friendly towards you is that you are threatening the status of his "single buddy". Could be that GF#2 is not threatening b/c your XH made it apparent to BMF that there was no chance of them getting serious. You on the otherhand are a threat to BMF, if XH gets back with you then BMF is "out there" on his own in his "singleness". The only suggestion I would give is just listen to XH when he complains about BMF and validate his feelings, do not offer any "logic" about how effed up the friendship is.....gotta let XH figure that one out on his own.

No posts from me since X-MIL's birthday party because there has been no contact since then. I have waited for Mr. GAG to initiate ---- and this morning he texted me "TT at 6?" and I replied "TT yes! See you @ 6PM". He replied "Roger GAG!", so I texted "Hey! My name is not Roger, but I"ll let you call me that under special circumstances if your like" followed by an emoticon with red lips and long eyelashes. (Planting seeds, planting seeds.)

This is excellent!!! Well played.

...so interesting that XH made a point of telling me who he was talking to.

This is the second time that I can remember that your XH is trying to explain to you who he is talking to or communicating with......

Think about this........ Does he really want you to know who he talking to??????

NOPE

Rather he is communicating "who he isn't talking to" (meaning GF#2)

I would think she is out of the picture especially after last week....TT with you on Wed. and then Mom's B-day on Thursday, Pictures of you guys on the I-pad.....All good indications that she is on the way out if she is not already.

I would agree that you may not need to pursue in the "contact" department........

However

When you guys are together I still maintain that you are going to have to be the initiator.

We hugged and I hugged him just a little longer than would be appropriate for a friendly hug. I could feel him pull back slightly (I saw kind of a panicked look in his eyes) but he didn’t freak out. He kept chatting with me.

Not sure if he was "panicked" because he continued to chat, I would say that you communicated that you want more and he "heard" it. He is probably processing that right now.

I think that if he keeps up the communication that would be a good indication that he is not "panicked" or scared or anything else. I would do just as you did last week and let him initiate contact, that is the only way I would pull back.

When you guys are together again whether it be for TT or something else, I would give him a "hello" hug, stoke the fire a little for the time you are together, don't wait until you guys are parting ways to initiate that physical contact.

I told XH that if he won all the games, he had to take me out for drinks, and that I had picked a restaurant where we could do that. XH said he couldn’t do that tonight, ........

So XH engaged me in friendly conversation about movies and restaurants. This really is a change for him. It will be interesting to see if he brings up the restaurant in the future.

I would let him drive this a little here......he did last time you had mentioned going out to eat one week and then the next week he asked you out after TT. This is a "safe" move for him, let him do this.

I've been wondering if I need to pull back more now by canceling next week's TT game.

NO......do not cancel the game, continue on as is, just let him initiate contact......your part will come when you guys are together.

It will be interesting to see what happens.

I left feeling a bit frustrated. XH’s mood was much better this evening, but I feel like a snail running a marathon. Ughhh!!!!!!

Patience here.....You are doing really good. You are getting the results you want, it is just hard to measure them as they seem small incrementally but overall your situation has improved ten fold.

Keep it up and Happy Little Friday !!!!

Cheers