Sweetie, pre MLC my h was the most wonderful husband and we had a great marriage, as I thought. I would still welcome the chance to work on the relationship,even though we are divorced, but the reality is that until they deal with themselves we will not get that chance.
I agree that MLC is an illness, and it changes the person totally. The big question is how much choice do they really have to behave as they do. Is it all driven by unresolved childhood issues, hormonal changes, depression, and chemical changes in the brain, or do they have a clear choice?
It hurts so much, but the pain lessens,as we learn to detach, and becomes bearable. It has to, otherwise we could not go on. Doesn't mean I don't still love the man he was, but I am moving on serenely [I hope!] with my life, and liking it. The liking it took a good while, I have to say.
Resentment of the children is part of the MLC script, and a sure sign of emotional immaturity. What kind of person resents the people they gave life to. My h, post bomb, told the children he never loved me, and that they were not the product of love. It as a terrible and hurtful thing to say. Fortunately they now realise he is not in his right mind but it took them a long time to deal with . . .
