Little does H realize I would trade it all for the chance to try and rebuild our M and put our family back together.. . . . .
That said, it will just make H further resent ever having married and having kids with me. . . . . .
I am very sad that it has come down to this...
I think that your first sentence echoes what so many of us have felt. Apart from post bomb this is the worst bit.
As to resentment, well no-one made him to marry you, have chldren and stay around. Marriage is a contract [as well as a lot else], and your husband has decided he doesn't like it, for selfish and self centred reasons. Why should he resent you, any more than you should resent him for raising kids from his first marriage. That is what marriage [and life ] is about for grown ups.
Truly the settlement you get will not, in the long run, make a jot of difference to what your husband 'thinks' about you. I put 'thinks' as I don't actually believe they thnk much at all during this time. But the settlement will make a great deal of difference to your future life, and that of your children. If he comes out of this he will see what a jerk he has been, and if he doesn't then you need this financial protection. You have earned it, it isn't some kind of rewad for behaving nicely and not making a fuss.
It is sad it has come to this, but when it is over you will experience healing. Hard to believe, but so many of us feel better post divorce. Didn't think I would, but I did. No more dealing with a crazy and mean person
