Don't know what to think..

[Very Confused]

A heartfelt THANK YOU to all of you that responded.

Sunshine: Your sitch is heartbreaking to me. I cannot imagine how hurtful that all must have been. I'm sorry that you had to endure that kind of pain.

I have a really hard time believing that he doesn't have someone else lined up either. He was a serial cheater/womanizer when he was in his early 20's and I must admit that I have always had trust issues. I think it's always easier to leave your spouse when someone else is waiting in the wings. We had an agreement back when we were still dating that if we were interested in another person, we would tell each other before cheating. I have asked him point blank about OW being in the picture and he denies it. He knows I wouldn't take him back if he was cheating, so if he wants to get rid of me so bad, wouldn't he just tell me yes (if he was)? I just don't know what to think about this. I have to trust him..I'm just trying to get to the root of this BOMB.

I too feel like he's telling me what I want to hear so I can let him go, then he can do whatever he wants. I go back and forth between believing he will go, and telling myself that he will change his mind when the time comes to move out in March. He is completely financially irresponsible. He always has been. We never joined our checking accounts and pay our bills via separate accounts. I have always kind of felt like I was "taking care of him" financially. I love him so much, that I honestly don't care who's bank account or paycheck is bigger. He feels like lesser of a man because of our financial situation.

I know that he has lots of issues to work through, I just have to stand back and let him figure things out on his own. He was molested at age 11. He has never really come to terms with this or dealt with it via therapy and my DB coach helped me realize that I wasn't treating that situation as I should have been. I remember watching Oprah and the football player Lauvernius Coles told his story of molestation and said he could never fully trust a woman because of it. My H has NEVER trusted me. Even today he accused me of being "up to something". I tried looking nice for him when he came home, per my DB coach's recommendation(jeans and a form fitting shirt), and he asked if I had just come home from a hot date. I know this all stems from his lack of trust. I have to sleep all day! It's not like I have time to galavant around town. I don't know if this jealousy is a good thing or a bad thing right now.I think he is very ambivalent.

I'm already securing my future living arrangements so I am prepared when the time comes. I will have moved 5 times in 5 years. I nor my 11 year old cat appreciate that very much, but I will persevere. I have to! Reading all the sitchs on the board have helped me so, so much. I'm working on my 180's and GAL. I am DB'ing my butt off and will continue to do so!