Having a hard time... II

[what next?]

That's what my gut tells me too. It's hard to hear how much success you guys are having but I have to remember where I'm at in the timeline.

She dropped the bomb at the end of September

Everything was *kind of* normal for a few weeks

I started to have really bad anxiety and took my sister's suggestion to separate in October

I pretty much cried and pleaded every time that I saw her until I moved out in early November.

She filed on November 9th

I texted her from the wedding that I was at by myself on our 10th anniversary. I just said "I'm so sorry that I've done this to us" or something to that effect.

I stayed pretty dark through thanksgiving and my birthday (she emailed me happy birthday...)

Then I would only reply to emails she sent but my replies would be unibomber manifesto long explaining how different I am now lol.

The call on December 23rd was what got me to really go dark... I was getting way more familiar with this board and much better at identifying what I was doing wrong.