A Lovestruck Romeo Singing the Streets in Serenade

[zengypsy]

No worries about hijacking my thread Gypsy. I don't mind you or anyone else posting questions here.

Your question is a very good one. I wish that I had a good answer for you. I posed it to my DB coach during my first session back in December. Her answer was not to worry that I would have my opportunities to show my W. I was very skeptical with that answer, but it has turned out to be true for me.

I know that the same answer may not be all that encouraging for your sitch or others'. But 2Step, you ARE having opportunities in your conversations with your W. Unless your 180 is to have a facelift or something, I don't necessarily think that you always have to have face to face contact to give your S a chance to notice your changes.

Gypsy... I know that you sitch is more difficult bc you are not having much contact. Please forgive me if I have your sitch confused with someone else, but I think that I had posted something on your thread that what you need to do is try to be your H's friend. Am I remembering this correctly? If so, my whole point was that if you want to continue DBing, and you want to eventually have these opportunities to show him your changes, that you need to make sure to leave the possibility open for that to happen. If you are friends with someone, eventually you will have chances to show them. When? Who knows. Will you have the patience or desire to stick with this that long? Only you can decide that.

That's my shot at answering that question.

BITS
Denver

Thanks Den. You did indeed put that on one of my threads and I totally agree with you. My goal is the friend thing although even then I wonder just how much contact we will have once the D is final. I hope by him saying he wants to be friends, that's it's not just saying something he knows I want to hear.

I know tht I would love the opp to show him my changes. My hope is that he'd want to get to know me again. It would be like the last ditch effort and then if it doesn't work, then I can truly say that I did everything I could. I really like ME now. I try to be this better version of myself everyday and i got my BITS and Bidets to carry me through.

Thaks for your response. It was very insightful.