Having a hard time... II

[what next?]

I was doing everything wrong up until about December 23rd. I called her that night and everything went wrong. I was arguing and about to cry and asking her if there was OM. She said "I TOLD YOU THERE IS NOBODY ELSE" i said "you don't have to yell" she said "how would you feel if I kept accusing you?" ...I said "how would you feel if I left you?"

so, pretty much the opposite of DB lol.

after that i went completely dark and had no contact with her except for a couple of very short emails. Then she emailed me while I was in Houston and I replied with how well things were going. Some other emails but nothing major... just tried to be positive and light. Then when I got back from Houston I went to the house and got my mail... had a brief conversation and when I ended it she asked when I might be going back to Houston. I answered and left. No contact since then.

I do need to open the lines of communication back up... that much is obvious. That's why I wanted to offer to take her to work or something. I was really worried about calling there for a while but I am over that now.

It's a tough spot because I really don't think I have been dark long enough. The divorce should have already been over but I think that her lawyer is milking her out of her retainer. I didn't get a lawyer and we agreed on a split that should be fine with her so idk what is holding things up. I told her in December that if she needed more time to think that she could take all the time she needs... she replied with "I just want the divorce to be over so that we can move on"

But now time goes by and nothing about the divorce... She was supposed to get me a list of bills she wants me to take and the information that I need to take them (so that they can be auto paid through my new account)... she still hasn't done that after 10 days. I think that she is taking time but won't admit it and I don't want to go towards her while she is in this place.

I need to just get a DB coach lol