Someone suggest H is having a MLC....I don't know?

[Albuquerque]

Do I just accept that as far as he's concerned I'm the most awful person on the planet?

Yes. You accept that because that is how his brain thinks at times. You must remember that MLC=crazy and their thoughts don't make sense and quite often have no basis in reality. They rewrite the past and truly believe the things they say.

But accepting HE views things that way is not the same thing as accepting it as reality. YOU know the truth. You do not have to be sucked into his warped view of reality. Stay true to yourself.

Be happy I'm not the monkey on his back he feels that I was

If separation from you, at the moment, gives him peace, isn't that a good thing? No, it's not what any of us want. But if we are to truly love someone, we want what's best for THEM, not what's going to make US happy. This is a journey he needs to undertake. It's not fair. It stinks big time. It's painful for us. It rips families apart. It's ugly. But as bad as it is for us, it's worse for them. They just often don't see how bad it is until often times it's too late. We can't fix it. We must let them go in order for them to have any chance to recover. You don't have to be happy about it. None of us are. But sometimes doing the right thing hurts.

try to forget I ever had him in my life or in my heart?

Only you can answer this. But do you choose to rewrite history just like he is doing? Or will you choose to cherish the memories as they truly were. Appreciate the good times you had. We all could have done more. None of us are perfect. But I don't think any of us would want to erase those special times from our hearts.