Hoping to find some peace

[Redo]

"Your past is your past but it doesn't run your life. YOU do."

Yup, i really have to nail that thought in my head.

During most of our marriage, my W tried to get me to be like her dad and our relationship like her parents. I tried being like her dad(cool and letting things slide of the back), but that was not who i was. I was the complete opposite. So i failed. But since i already setup my wife's expectations, she felt like i failed her there. She always compared our R to her parents and I just could not live up to her expectations. But the problem was that i kept promising her that i would try and try again. she just got fed up i guess.

In the R i am lot more timid. I always took a decision and backtracked to match my wife's even if i did not like it. I just did not want to disappoint her. But sometimes that disappointment caught up with me and i would withdraw from my wife.
Looking back now i realize that the relationship was very unhealthy.

Oddly, outside our R i am quite confident person, sure of my decisions.

I guess i just became an emotional burden on her over the years. Yea so i am right now trying DBing and trying to work on my own emotional issues.