Having a hard time... II

[what next?]

She has been posting pictures from the progress she has made shoveling snow. For some reason these pictures REALLY make me miss her lol... This [censored].

[MrBond]

What positive things have YOU done. Step away from the computer and start working on you. Seriously.

[2stepboogie]

Right now there is just so little contact at all. It could be a week before I hear anything form her. That [censored] but it is hopefully giving her plenty of time to think. My expectations aren't too bad because I don't expect her to call. I don't have to worry about waiting by the phone because I know she isn't going to.

I know the feeling very well. There was a time when W did not call for almost ten days. I almost reached a breaking point. I was going nuts. The longest we have gone without contact has been 14 days and that was in the beginning. But through our interactions I learned a lot and conducted a self experiment.


W called we talked about R/M call would last 1 sometimes 2 hours I would say all the things I am learning and that I think we can work it out. She would make her case and we would hang up. Result…..no contact for a week.

W called…….I would keep it short and sweet. Nice convo about nothing really just to see how she was doing and how I was doing. Result…..Next day or max two days W called back.

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even bring up the R/M anymore although I did slip last night when she brought it up. The results are simple. So far this week…..contact every day. If you go back and see my thread from the beginning (I know its long I never really thought it would ever get that big) you will see a natural progression of communication. You will see my failed attempts and my small victories. I works sometimes I slip and I beat myself up because I tell myself “You idiot. DO WHAT WORKS”

When I don’t bring up the R/M after a few interactions she brings it up. If you recall the other day I had a nearly 6 hour convo with her. I was great. Then no contact for 3 days. Monday she has called, Last night she called and she will call tonight at some point to tell me about Thursday. That is a new record for me. Follow the plan and don’t be scared to just talk little stuff, which was my biggest fear. “The more I agree with her the more convinced she becomes that she made the right decision” Not how it works at all. The more I validate the more she calls. Maybe I should post this on my own thread to remind myself to stop being a jack wagon.

[what next?]

What positive things have YOU done. Step away from the computer and start working on you. Seriously.

Not much that I can do that I'm not doing. Have had my resume submitted by staffing companies to four positions in Houston and two here. I'm exercising daily and taking good care of my apearence. Hanging out with different friends several nights per week and I'm making solid money considering my mental state lol.

[MrBond]

So why are you still AFRAID to call her?

Do you have female acquaintances that you hang out with? Maybe you need to start talking to them to ease into talking to your wife. You need to do something to overcome that.

It's your worst obstacle right now.

[what next?]

I would call her now if I had a reason to. I'm torn between initiating contact and letting too much time go by. I went to the house and saw her in person and told her to "call me if she needs anything" ...that way when I need something I can call her. That barrier is no longer in the way.

[MrBond]

"I would call her now if I had a reason to."

"That barrier is no longer in the way."

You're contradicting yourself again. Let's face it, you don't need a "reason". You're her freakin' H. Call to see how she's doing.

You don't have to make it a long conversation. But all you have to do is start by saying "hello".

Stop being afraid. Reach down into your pants to see if you nuts are still there. If they are, then start using them.

[what next?]

Well, I'm trying to LRT and not screw up lol. I want to let her initiate contact. That's what I'm supposed to do I thought...

[what next?]

I'm not trying to argue either... I'm just trying to do things right. I have made so many mistakes along the way and I am definitely worried about making more but backing off can't be a bad thing since I believe she will take the space whether I give it to her or not.

[2stepboogie]

Smack! I think Mr Bond just gave you a 2x4. I agree with him man. If it is eating you up that much. Make the call.

"Hey how are you doing? Oh good. Just wanted to let you know I just saw this movie thought you might like it. Nothing important just figured I'd tell you about it. Glad everything is going good talk to you sometime."

The end. You don't have to go with the movie line either. You can improvise