Well here I am now. Moved over from DBD

[g450]

You are both right. I have been struggling with this for some time now but I just cant seem to let go.

It's very hard for me because even at 48 I have never been alone. This is the first time in my entire life that I am completely alone so even somebody else's drama is sometimes welcome. Even a simple text or phone call can make my day.

Weekends are filled with bbq and beer with brothers and hanging out with my GF. During the week it's simply going to work and coming home to an empty house. Even after a year of doing this it's still haunting and surreal for me to live like this. That is not the life I envisioned or wanted.

I really am trying to make things work with GF. We give each other what we need. I do have a limit as to how much drama I will take and I will not continue puting up with her constant contact with ex-this and ex-that. I have already told her that this may eventually end our ralationship if it continues. It's really her choice.

I really hate to say it but I think we have fallen into a comfortable FWB type relationship. But she still hints at wanting more. If she wants more then she will need to deep six the drama and stop talking to her old lovers and XH completely. That is my boundry and I know she wont go for that. We will see.

If we end it, then I will stop dating completely until I am in a better place with being alone. I am in no big hurry to get remarried but lonely people tend to gravitate towards each other. I'm a classic example of that. That's human nature I guess.