Hoping to find some peace

[Redo]

MrBond: Thanks for your feedback. Yup, bought DR from B&N yesterday. Just started reading it.

Yup the things she was frustrated about.

1: That she put up 11 years with me and did not get a break. She felt that i always had one emotional issue or the other
2: That for 3 years i was depressed and never made effort to get myself out of it.
3: That she did not want our D to see our arguing.
4: That i never used any of the existing support system that i had in the U.S. (i.e., my MIL, SIL etc)

Just to give you lil background. I have no family in the US. All of my W's family is here. Yup, in '08 after my daughter was born, due to the usual friction between W and my parents, the relations between my W and my parents soured. I failed to stand up to either and be strong for my new family. Wife hated this and early '09 she left to stay with her mom's for 6 months. I tried to become little strong during that time. Wish i discovered DB then. Instead i went to C and they put me on meds. When she came back, I never brought up the issue my parents again. But the fact that my D has no good relations with my parents bothered me. So there grew an emotional distance between us where we could not talk personal details about families to each other like we did before. This creeped into our personal relationship as well. I thought this was all my problem and began personal counseling in '10. Counselor told me my panicky/depression issues were childhood related to my parents fighting. I was way too frank to my wife and told her about this (i hoped that if i told her the core reason, maybe she'd give me some time to work on myself). W talked to counselor about me(i let her). This was in nov-10. December i visited my parents as my dad had surgery(i respected my W's decision not to visit them or allow my D to visit them). Then my W drops the D bomb on 01/03/11 and here i am...

At the end of the day i realize that my mistakes were that I was not an emotionally strong person and i constantly tried to be a person that my W wished for. I failed at it and never realized that i could not be that person. I'll have to make peace with who i actually am and i dont know that.