W notices. Trust me, she sees. She sees a hell of a lot more now than when you lived in separate states, and just look at how much progress you made despite that distance. Remember how much you thought she couldn't see, but your changes were noticed anyways? Now she has a TON more to notice.
But that doesn't mean progress is going to speed up.
It means that she will begin to trust the person you have become more. That she will probably get past some of her fears and concerns. But it will still take time.
You are not just starting from scratch with this R, you are starting from a negative. In a new R, you don't have fights, the deployments and PTSD. You have a clean plate in a new R. That's one of the reasons affairs are so addicting.
But her impression of you has been tarnished, so you have to polish it all up and LIVE the person you want to be long enough for her to believe in you again.
Would she have left the kids alone with you two or three years ago? My gut says no. The fact that she let you be the parental figure while she stayed home to study is actually very promising. It could be pullback from sitting with her at the game, a way for her to reestablish some distance, but even if it is IT SHOWS TRUST IN YOU to take care of the kids alone!
Look at how far you have come from fighting to come up and visit the kids. To let you keep them overnight! YOU HAVE COME SO FAR.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
