"Instead of working on yourself to be "free to be yourself within the M", how about simply working on yourself so that you are free to be who you are...."
That's what I meant.
"Did you forgive your MIL? Did you forgive your H for his "massage"? Did you forgive your FIL for standing behind his wife? Did you forgive your sister for the shame that she brought to the family?"
MIL-Yes. That is an ongoing thing. My D16 still has issues with each stage of development. When someone is still in your life you sometimes have to forgive them repeatedly.
H-Yes. I have forgiven him. I'm not sure that he has forgiven himself.
FIL-Yes and No. We were at peace with each other when he died. I think I am more resentful now that my H is struggling so much with his passing. It's an easy out to blame him. I'm glad that you brought that up because I do need to work on that. IMO, he wasn't a very good person and I have to bite my tongue on a regular basis.
My sister-No. It's not the shame, it's the damage she did to her children, my children and my parents. I know that I need to. I am beginning to think she may have had an MLC as well.
