lost

[zengypsy]

Hi Lost:

I'm sorry for what you are going thru. Your H and my H are the same age. It sounds like an MLC/WAS combo.

My first recommendation is to get Michele's book The Divorce Remedy if you haven't already. That will be the beginning of a new journey for you. The first step is to stop doing what you've been doing and do comething different. Your S won't expect it and doing more of the same hasn't worked

If he chooses to seperate, I know it's hard but you have to let him. You can't pursue, it will just push him away more and validate his reason to go. Pursuing is no begging, pleading etc. Your actions have to support your words.

Your H is going to have to work out his own stuff, his own way in his own time. Now is the time to focus on YOU. You need to get stronger, build more self-confidence. Show your H that you want him but you don't need him; there's a HUGE diff. Get some hobbies going, clean your house, rearrange the cabinets, furniture, hang with friends, etc. It's GAL (getting a life).

Saying you will change and actually doing the action of change are quite diff and hard work. Having said that, if you are determined to save your M and yourself, the change will be natural and easy. Once you make the committment, it's pretty smooth sailing. It was at least for me.

If you are not in a position to use a DB Coach (I'm not in the position either), get yourself into C. Get with someone who will help you with you and that is supportive of saving your marriage.

I'll keep looking for your posts.

Hugs - ZG