detachment was already achived during seperation....was hoping upon h's return that the initial stages of reconnecting would continue but knew that things would simmer...just didn't expect to end up exactly where we were pre disclosure of ow and pre bomb.
at a loss...
detaching sure was easy while h wasn't living here...sure it was a bit hard to sleep sometimes but I think that was more out of anxiety of what will happen to me and the kids...I knew very well that we would be provided for (h's family would never allow him to screw over me and the kids for anything) it was more a fear of...well how the heck am I gonna do this with two little ones..thoughts of step parents and split holidays just drove me nuts..not to mention pondering how the heck would I go out on a date without letting the kids see? ( no sense in introducing them to any joe, ya know)
I am dissapointed that h plummeted back to his old ways and doesn't see any need to change...perhaps my letting him back was a mistake...I probably should have been a real bitch and made him earn his way back...but I was blind and was fooled by his giving me what I wanted and feeding me lines like "this is the way you wanted me to be maybe I'll be this way from now on" well he was that way for a few months and then poof back to that guy who if it weren't for the kids I don't think I'd have been phased much at his leaving.
it's been far to long for me just catching the crumbs...and it doesn't seem to matter what I do...
detach?
how far do I need to go...cause if I detach anymore there'll be nothing left at all.
