DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[ScaredinCanada]

In a state of anger people say and do things that they regret. I believe the WAS says things not only because they mean it at the time but also to justify their actions. My W told me "I was just 19 when we started dating. I jump in with both feet. I need to find myself"

She is now 29. The anger will last only so long and when it subsides they will see the reality. Some will have convince themselves they did the right thing but I really feel for the ones that feel like they made a mistake

My W has said the exact same things. When we started dating I was only 17, and I didn't really know what I wanted. I feel like neither of us experienced life, we just defaulted to each other because that's all we knew. I've changed, and I don't believe I ever really had a choice.

BAH - come on...I don't believe any of that except that she "believes it right now" because it justifies her feelings and desire to leave the M for "something else"...

W has now been away and not seen me since Sunday evening before she left for work. She'll be home tonight, but I'm not sure what time that will be...in a way I hope it's after I've gone to bed. She didn't say 2 words to me when she left, although she has called to "check in" a couple times (once to say good night to D6).

I'm somewhat anticipating seeing her, but I'm worried I'll be let down if she shows zero interest in me after not seeing me in 3 days...

Just trying to tidy up the house so the W feels good about coming back home. 23 days left until she goes away for a week.

Just need to remove the anticipation to see her, need to have NO expectations, but it's difficult because I really HOPE she missed me.

So far I am getting support from my brothers, and from her brother and sister. I have a good R with both my W's siblings as they've both lived with us for short periods of time. Will be interesting to see how those R's change if our M ends.