Antonia - this hurts. There is no two ways about it. It is like death, but we don't get the support through others that a widow does.
I agree, ignore the email. it isn't uncommon to get them post divorce. They don't really want to let go, feel bad about themselves. My therapist told me my h was lost to his true self. I like that expression.
MLCers are not nice people while in MLC. They are self centred, mean, often vindictive, immature . .. the list goes on. It is all about them, and how they feel and what they want.
If he thinks 2 decades is like a tirp to the grocery store he is clearly without any emotional intelligence. Would you really want to spend time with him? Being around you at present will not make him nice. Try not to dwell on the relationship with OW: They may believe they are happy, for now. It is fulfilling a need in him. Effectively the MLCer is using the OW [and vice versa]. It is NOT the relationsihp he had with you, and on some level he is probably missing this.
My therapist was great, and I had therapy in bursts as I didn't have any financial help towards it. If I had 4 sessions we would discuss the outcomes I wanted and work towards them. Sorry to keep banging on about it, but The Journey from Abandonment to Healing really does cover all of these emotions, and provide strategies for working through it. And as we all know it takes time. You will not feel this way forever. It will pass
