Very Confused I am responding to you, not because I have some great advice, but because it blows my mind how much your h sounds like my now ex husband. Almost the same speech. You can click on my name and ready my story but I was married almost 20 yrs. Several months before he actually was out the door he did the same thing to me that your h is doing to you. When we would fight he would threatened leaving then the next day or so say he couldnt imagine living without me. The beginning to nightmare and I didnt even know it. Then we finally had a fight and he said he wanted a Divorce. He said he had been unhappy for awhile, and that he wanted to just be LEFT ALONE to work thru whatever he was going thru. He said he was tired of answering to everyone and was tired of being married. I freaked of course and did all the wrong things. I didnt find this site until after my divorce though. Wish I had of. Anyway when he finally conveinced my to go along with the divorce he said things like. IF we work it out we can always get remarried and if I remarry it will prb. be to you. He said he WOULD NEVER marry again unless to me and that NO ONE would ever come between me and him and our son. He said NO ONE would ever live with him. Said he would always be there for me regardless. I now know he said this to get me to just go along with the Divorce without giving him any problems. He may have meant some of what he said, I dont know, but he knew how desperate I was to hear something positive at that time. He had NO INTENTIONS of coming back. My then h also told me he didnt want to give me false hope. We were intimate even after the divorce for awhile, this was me trying to hold on with everything I had in me. He would ml to me but would NOT kiss me. No kissing allowed, he said it brought up too many feeling for me and gave me false hope. All this was over 2 yrs ago. My then h was cheating on me, I caught him after he moved out. He then moved on to another young girl and is now married with a newborn. He is 43 and she is 26 I believe......we have a 20 yr. old son together. He remarried just five months after our divorce. Moved her in before that. This man that promised he would never remarry or live with anyone. I am not saying your h is having an affair but I believe that men or women just dont up and leave a marriage without something already lined up somewhere. I am not talking about a marriage where there is abuse. I am talking about a fairly good marriage. No marriage is perfect. You will question and blame yourself for alot of things. IT IS NOT YOU OR YOUR PROBLEM. HE HAS THE ISSUES. and until he figures them out you will be left in the dark. Please know that you WILL survive. GOD will help you if you let him. This board is a good place to start. There are many good people here that have been thru the same thing. You have a career, that is great, alot of people on here were financially drained......including ME! I made it and SO WILL YOU! I am not one to give advice but I will listen and answer any questions you have. God Bless You!
