I have done everything wrong....

[Denver_2010]

I will also throw this out there for you Islander. Someone on this board once posted that it can actually be a good thing for an A to just move forward. What?! you ask... Well, here is the idea. Affairs are new, exciting, and forbidden to those who engage in them. The OP is new and exciting... and in the mind of the cheating spouse, doesn't have the flaws that they see in the non-cheating spouse.

But once the affair becomes, in essence, a relationship, all of those fantasy ideals disappear eventually. The "affair" will no longer be new, exciting and forbidden... it will just be, well, a relationship. The OP will cease to be new, exciting and flawless... he/she will eventually be just another person. I think that cheating spouses believe that they have found their soul mates when they enter into an affair, but it is usually just a fantasy. A break from the reality of the every day life. That will fade eventually regardless. But I think that maybe A's have to go through a process. And part of that process is it coming out in the open and more into a R type of situation bw the OP and the cheating spouse.

Your W does not love OM. She is just infatuated. She will realize this eventually. The question will you be there when she does? Do you want to still be there when she does?

BITS
Denver