Ok, what do you think she meant by the "me"? Whatever she meant, I am impressed she replied to your admission. She knowingly, more than once, has stepped over the line you made in regards to contacting you, and if she had not emailed you first, I doubt you would have had the inclination to randomly email her. Maybe she is reacting to your decision to pull away. My friends tell me often, that once I appear to have moved on the X will have a rude awakening.
I have determined from a conversation I had with X, that he is not having a physical relationship with anyone, and the way in which he told me that sounded convincing. I have imagined the worst, thinking he and OW were getting serious again, so now I am getting hopeful again. What a rollercoaster ride!!!! And who knows what is going on in their minds, certainly not us, and its doubtful they do either.
I keep going back to the DB guidance of GAL. I have thought about dating, but just cannot get excited about doing it. So, I think I am going to take dance classes instead. Kills two birds with one stone, a great workout, and its something I have wanted to do for some time.
I also have thought about a conversation I had with one of the DB coaches in regards to being a lighthouse for XH, being someone who beckons him home. I can only be that though when I am not consumed with thoughts of X, or thoughts of how to control X, or thoughts of X with someone else ect, ect. I can only be a 'lighthouse' when I am being myself, my best self, the self that is aware of my values, beliefs, the self that is honest, and prayerful, the self that will wake up each day and make the day count even if X is still not here.
You are wanting what is right and good Whitney, not only for yourself, but for your children. That makes you a good person in my book, and your X may never find someone like you ever again. Somewhere in her mind she knows that too.
Take care, and I hope you have a great day tommorrow.
