Chapter 3 the end? Or new beginning?

[Queen_of_Swords]

That's the same thing I told my wife. Everyday during our marriage I told her that I loved her and there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her.

When this started I knew that if I couldn't do this my words were hollow. I never thought that letting her go would be what she would need and I'm more scared than ever that it will end up being what she really does want. But it's what I have to do to show her that I'm sincere.

Actually Next, you hit the nail on the head. Would we do ANYTHING for our W's? Do we love them only when they love us back? Or... do we have unconditional love for our Ws?

If we have true unconditional love for our Ws, we choose to let them go, let them try to find the happiness that they are missing... even if it is not with us.

Hold up. I'm confused.
I thought the whole goal of this website was to "bust" a divorce?

If true unconditional love requires letting our spouses go and find their bliss with or without us ( and from these boards lately it seems we LBS are pretty much on our own from the time they walk out) what's the point of doing DBing beyond the self improvement aspect?

I'll be frank with you. If my H chooses to stay gone, I'll love who he once was. For as was pointed out to me change is inevitable and constant in people. H will become a stranger to me after a time. A stranger who shares a tie with me through our kids.
H is everyday becoming more of a stranger to me and I am slowly becoming indifferent. I think that is a side effect of detachment and not having expectations?

Yes I can choose to behave in a loving, compassionateand kind manner,it doesn't change the genuine lack of feeling.

Once that happens there is no love connection left IMHO.

At that point what's left to hang onto?

Am I missing something?