Ha! I haven't mentioned counseling in a month. Last conversation we had about the R, he told me he was leaving and I told him it was a good idea! Not sure he knew what to do with that.
Oh my goodness, One, you had me cracking up!!! Yeah, I suppose you wouldn't operate on yourself.
I don't pay him much mind when he says he smarter than these people. It does nothing more than prove his ignorance so I kind of get a kick out of it!
What screws me up royally is his going back forth. I do my best not to react. I really do. It doesn't mean I'm not in pain. And I'm lonely. I'm just so lonely. It's tough going through this in a place where you barely know anyone. If I was home, this would be much easier. But then, he'd also have had his rear end kicked... my brothers aren't amused
I would highly recommend you start making friends .... PRONTO. Talk to women at the gym. Go to one of the online meetup places to find groups that meet near you. There are even divorce support groups. OR, divorced and separated people that like to go for walks in the park etc. Even if you have to drive an hour or two to go do them ... that would be a nice diversion on a Saturday wouldn't it? Right now, your H gets to do whatever he wants ... and you're mostly waiting around to see what happens eh? Why? Take control. He's a lost little boy. Lost little boys don't want to cling to a lost little girl .... go be the strong woman you are and see how he reacts.
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
Yes, Onestep, you are right and I am trying. I signed up for a meetup group two weeks ago, but they haven't had a meetup yet. The group is for those separating or divorcing. So hopefully there is a meetup soon.
I gotta think of more things like you said. It's hard when you are shy. I think that's why I love this place so much because we're still hidden.
Oh, and my H, other than his one trip is home more than I am right now. I think 2Step gave me the advice early on, but I was told to get out of the house even if I am going to the movies by myself. So that's what I do. I leave the house, but it's depressing because I don't have enough to do like you said. Ok, next goal...
Hey lost hand in there. GAL and have fun with it. I preach better than I practice that's for sure. Tonight I am going out for some drinks and some poker. I trully believe that our own demeanor affects not only our spouse but everyone we meet.
Sounds like you have made a start, LIS. So would going out and finding new friends be something that your H wouldn't expect?
The way I see it .... getting rejected by strangers is going to hurt way less than being rejected by your damned spouse! lol
Maybe you should just join any meetup group there is that might be remotely interesting to you. Coffe with Kruschev? Take it. Women who bowl? Do that too! I dunno.
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
Yes, absolutely definitely something he wouldn't expect. He has already commented about my gym membership and the friends I've made there.
I can't bowl, I'll break a nail!!! hahahahaha...
Yes, you're right, I need to make a new goal and get out there more. I know that this will help my loneliness. I was thinking of doing stuff at the church like Dixie.
The only problem with getting too involved is that my H is really anti-Church. I don't know if that will push him away.
Who are you doing it for? H or you?
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
The only problem with getting too involved is that my H is really anti-Church. I don't know if that will push him away.
LIS - I was totally against the church thing too until my recent M tragedy. I have been going since the first sunday after one of the bombs, can't remember which right now... they all run together at this point. But anyway, like 2Step said, it has really lifted my spirits. I'm not sure what I think about god etc., but the message of the sermon is always something that I can relate to.
Funny, writing that last sentence reminded me that one of the sermons a couple of weeks ago was about having patience in waiting for something. Think I need to ponder that some more...
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
