I swear when I win the lottery I'm sending money to the DB coaches so everyone can get some coaching. I know how frustrating it is to need help but not be able to afford it. But there are great people here who are more than willing to help you.
Hank, what is the waiting period in your state for divorce? She packed up your stuff in tubs, did you actually take your stuff? She can't do that. Why did you decide to leave? Was this your decision, her decision or a mutual decision. How often do you both speak? Are you speaking on the phone? Are you texting?
When you say that you are doing 180's, what does that mean? For example, you said that there were anger issues. Are those yours? If so, how have you changed that? For instance, the fight... gotta learn to diffuse those things at all costs. What would you say were the breakdowns in the marriage. What do you think your contribution was to that? What can you do right now to turn those behaviors around immediately?
Others are going to have more questions.
Your posts are going to take awhile to post at the beginning. Do not become frustrated with this. You will see them show up in the evening. Once you have been good and follow all the rules, then they will let your posts go through immediately.
Ok, so the good news? Your W is just like a lot of WAS (walk away spouses) right now. She's riding a roller coaster and has taken you for the ride. GET OFF THE COASTER. She needs to see the person she fell in love with all those years ago. Be that person. Your W clearly is not sure what she wants. While I think she filed fast in relation to the bomb, you do state she has been thinking about this for a year. But she is confused. So, you have time to pull your 180's. These changes need to be genuine because she IS going to test you and she IS going to push every button you have. But you need to change, BE CONSISTENT and upbeat no matter what is thrown at you. Even if divorce goes through, that is just a piece of paper. It is not over until you say it is over. You have to remember that. Some days that is hard, I know, I struggle with the same exact issues.
