Hi Cyrena, thank you again for your thoughts. You know, yes, i guess I 'liked' myself in the role of the caretaker. And I still do. I'm the one who would invite people for dinner. Not because I have to, but because I like it. I like the shopping, I like the cooking, and I like a full house of people who are enjoying themselves. Maybe I like the praise. I honestly don't think that I had a massive problem with putting his agenda ahead of mine. I don't know. I wanted to make him happy. Maybe I'll have to question myself a bit more on that one?
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated right now. I moved to the UK to be with my H... I had shi**y jobs I hated to pay the bills, I had no friends, I had no family around. I am sooo angry. I just realized that we can never expect anyone to reciprocate though I was hoping that would just come naturally with someone who loved you. Don't get me wrong, I never EXPECTED him to pay me back or anything silly, I guess I just realized that I've been left standing in the rain here, on my own.
I'm crying as I type this. I'm so angry and hurt. I trusted him so much. I hoped that he would be my rock, and he would be the one I could rely on.
