[pushed submit too quickly] Continuing with the bike analogy...
When learning to ride your bike and long after that... you DID fall didn't you? What happened after you fell? Did you never get on the bike again? No.
You fell, you got hurt, you picked yourself up and got back on again. Perhaps many times. But each time you got back on you learned your lesson (like: how important balance is) and you persisted until you mastered that skill.
DB'ing is like this. Not ONE person gets this right the first time around. You make mistakes, you learn, you persist and you master it.
Is it easy? Heck no. However I can tell you this, the DB'ing principles are applicable to other situations in your life and are not restricted to your spouse. Is there a guarantee you will save your marriage? No. However if you make it a mission to DB for YOURSELF first and your marriage second you will see results beyond your current situation.
GAL is for you. For you to regain confidence in yourself. For you to prove to yourself that you ARE capable. 180's are for YOU. If you are doing any of these for your spouse then you are going to be severely disappointed.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Thanks Gnosis for dropping in on my thread again. Your insight into the fear issue has been very helpful for me. I was holding back on true DBing because I was afraid of what I might lose. In reality, I have already lost it.
Wife just called me at work to see what was going on this evening. She also sent me an email first thing this morning about her day. I responded to both, but made sure that I focused only on her and did not mention anything related to me. Also made sure that I simply listened and acknowledged, tried not to offer any solutions. I need to work on this part, as I feel that I always need to provide her with some form of solution.
Tonight I will focus on the kids and getting a few more things done around the house.
