Lunch today was a little odd. W just got back from the dentist and wasn't in the best of moods. She was dealing with a migraine this morning on top of that.
Before we went to the place, I was definitely in a funk (for those who read my earlier post). I was beginning to wallow in self pity when suddenly something hit me - snap the f out of it. I nuzzled my wife in the neck and pushed her a little (we like(d) to get physical with each other). She smiled and it seemed to knock her out of her funk as well.
We had a good lunch just talking about the move and what that entails. She did say that keeping us together is going to take a lot of work. She did, however, say that she's willing to do whatever to make it work. That hit the spot for me.
Later, we ended up walking around to pick up little things for the house. She slipped back into sheltered W mode - not wanting to hold hands, walking a little behind when we walked. It put me back into that wallowing mode.
But then she said something to make it all better. She said, "I want you to know that I'm just in a funky mood because of the migraine, the dentist and all of the pressure of moving. It has nothing to do with you."
I couldn't help it but hug her and she almost cried. I told her how much I appreciate that she said that. It showed she cared.
I then listened to her regarding what the rest of her day was going to be. She had to go to Brownies for the youngest D and was dreading doing it, feeling the way she did. I told her to sleep for a while and I would drive her to school so she could still do the Brownies. She almost welled up again - Old Bolt wouldn't have done that.
I then had to run an errand and stopped her before she went inside. I said, "Hey, I love you." Believe it or not, she said it back...unbelievable. It's only been a month since she has and it almost seemed like an automatic response but I don't care. I'm putting that in my little emotional bank and keeping it. That way, whenever flareups like this morning happen again, I can deal better.
OH - about this morning. I did tell her, in a joking way without putting pressure on her, that I didn't know where she went. She said that she put out the dentist folder for me to see, thinking I would get it. It's so funny how women and men think. All I needed was a simple note or text and I would have been cool. She thought she gave me a note (mostly because she didn't have time to write something).
The mind is a terrible thing...
Now back on this crazy roller coaster called life and marriage...
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
The W got the final approval on her new job and I was truly proud of her. In the past I wouldn't have sounded the trumpets but today I did. You should have seen the look on her face. You know when you son or daughter has done something great and you tell them "good job" - they beam with pride.
That was her. It was sooo cool to see. I KNOW that she felt loved - something that she hasn't in a while.
anyway...that's all
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Hey Bolt. I am in a deep funk myself today. I wish that I could snap out of it like have been able to. Nice job.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Denver, going to point out that Bolt choose to snap the f out of it.
I know sometimes easier said than done, but sometimes, sometimes its just doing it.
I know that you are right J3B. My problem is that I had a lot of good contact with W this weekend, now I'm back to wondering what the hell is going on and not knowing what I should do. Any detachment that I had achieved is gone. I am, again, completely attached.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Denver, seriously, I looked at the sitch and hated where I was. I CHOSE to be in a funk so I easily snapped out of it. Funny thing is, it did help snap her out of hers as well.
It was only for a little bit but I realized that I had control over it.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Denver, also realize that this is a long thing that we are going through. Count your lucky stars that you had a great weekend and REMEMBER that.
My W's big problem with me is that she never felt that she was enough or did enough for me. When the reality was, she did exactly what I needed; I was just too selfish to realize that.
Enjoy what you did get this weekend, no matter how big or small it was and remember that. If you do that, I'm pretty sure there will be more to come.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
