I don't know if I should actually be writing to you since you've just left my house angry at me but I don't know what else to do. It seems that whenever I try to tell you how I feel about our relationship you just get pissed off at me and we end up in a big fight, you leave and I feel worse because I know you don't listen to how I feel you listen to what I say makes me feel that way. When I tell you taht I am unhappy and that the reason I am unhappy is because I am bored and tired and feel insignificant/unimportant not very interesting etc. when you do certain things that you do ie. watching football (or other sports) watching the weather, falling asleep, not wanting to do things w/me or even talk to me. It bothers me more that not only do you do those things/or not do things you don't realize how they might make me feel, and even when I tell you how they make me feel you continue to do them because you want to. that is when I feel as though you don't care how I feel, like I don't mean anything to you anymore.
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when we first met we enjoyed eachothers company shared eachothers interests because they were new. In the begining we where very concious of eachothers feelings and didn't know just how the other would react to certain things. There was a comfortable amount of give and take. Now after 4 1/2 years we are each comfortable enough with eachother that we fail to realize that all the little things we do that hurt eachother aren't insignificant...
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You want to I know you don't realize how what you do effects me and that it is not intentional but it still hurts. I just wish you could spend some time to really think about how I feel...
I don't mean to blame you for everything and I'm not. I am simply pointing out how what you do effects me.
that was written as stated above in 1993 I was 20 then it was 4 years before we married...now I am 30 married with two kids and nothing has changed infact it's gotten worse.
writting letters or lists is a waist of time. talking to him is a waiste of time... going about my own business is a waiste of time (in terms of the r cause it only serves to foster more distance and ultimately resentment) I cannot treat him the way I would like to be treated because he doesn't accept it...I'd like to go out..he doesn't typically want to...I'd like to play a game of darts and have a few drinks in the basement..he doesn't want to...I'd like to hug him and kiss him...can't deal with that rejection anymore...
